Voices of the Past

There are people from the past with
the loudest voices the world has ever heard,
but we go about our day oblivious
as if they’d never uttered a single word;
we’re fed adverts for perfumes, phones and games;
stories of prostitutes selling their dignity for fame
The time for honour has faded,
. . . it’s as if Napoleon & Kutuzov weren’t at Borodino,
as though Rome was never feared;
Tolstoy never took up the pen;
or Ghengis horse and bow; as though
Hitler never devised the way to beat a man and strip him of his soul;
but next up is the football, then some classless ‘talent’ show,
while stories of great artists, myths, and monuments
are pushed away and left to go untold.

- ndru

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2011 in review – Automated –

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,000 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 50 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Relapse

Fictitious friends are all I have now, where once stood you and I,
there’s nothing they can say to help the spring-cleaning of my mind
forget forgetting you, i can’t move on without you, I can’t live my life like this, I’m
on the brink with this thinking, forever sinking in memories of your blinking
and the curling of your lip, and my hands’ dreaming of its past-life resting on your hips
the day we spent at the seaside; the bench, the burger, and the chips,
what happened below the pier, out of sight but forever in my mind
though public but not public, our inner-animals did rhyme
and dance and fuck with feeling, to the crashing of the waves,
in the shadow of the pier, hidden from the sunshine rays.

On the park, after a picnic, we did copulate once more
to the rustle of the trees and the sweet singing of the shore,
through panting, and groaning, and you screaming out my name
with our bodies we were players in nature’s oldest game,
then the laughter and the dozing, and the sun warming our souls
but now you’ve left me here discarded, the last petal on a rose
there’s no cure for this sad singing or your laughter in my head
my face remembers smiling while I’m lay awake in bed,
the muscles spasm at the notion that happiness could bring,
remembering your kisses, my cheeks often choose to sting,
happiness is some forgotten language with a confusing meaning
while i toss and turn my mind creates your image on my ceiling;
woe is me, woe is us, happiness has left me feeling deserted
the last bastion of hope through corruption was perverted

Seeking some sweet solace in our parting
I fill my days with books, and writing
but can think of nothing but sour regret,
life without you wants to kill me; for my sanity I whet
my pen which writes that ‘escapism has escaped me’, now I guess
I’m beside myself again, and despite my heart I strive to leave you behind;
but in my mind I meet you smiling in that once-upon-a-time,
that first thought in the morning and the setting of the sun
the stars and moon shine brightly while the planets have their fun
while down here mortals lament at the losses of their love
home is not where my heart is, you have it safely locked away
but your home you have changed it to some other fellow’s place
release me, oh release me, from your spirit’s hurtful drug
Mademoiselle, oh Mademoiselle, can you do nothing else but shrug?
I hate you! Yet I love you! Contra Diction be my name,
memory now acts as mistress, past-joys leading me astray
I need to stop and think and write and embrace every day
but nothing you can say can stop me spiraling away
I am nothing, you are nothing, we were nothing, this is gay.

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Protected: Rome Shrugged

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a few random pages from my notebook

Colour and light illumines chaos. Inspiration, not gratification, drives our thought-train through dark ideas and strange country. New works of wonder are constructed from this: light, colour, temptation, torment, birdsong – writers are artists as the world is a palette, our pens the paintbrush and our notebooks the canvas.

Writing is a journey. Mine began with a hedgehog disagreeing with a fox over the location of a missing toy car; nature was big back then, all was new and possible, the universe grounded and tangible.

Exploration and self ‘development’ has took me backwards – my knowledge of the world, that is – and now nothing makes sense. Everything is open and boundless – emotion and thought are untamed conceptual devices which I often draw upon for inspiration. With greedy pen-strokes I lap up hungrily all my spirit has to offer. Creative prostitution.

Wind!

Energetic nature clutching leaves of Autumn, bringing life to dying leaves and invigorating the spirits of anyone willing to just look.

If matter and energy can never be destroyed, then existence is eternal: It’s not about consciousness or an afterlife. When Death claims our bodies, our energy becomes one with nature as our dust is scattered around the earth. We become everything, at all times everywhere. We’re oceans, birdsong, cloud, soil, fire – we’re the everlasting denizens of the world. Our life, the flicker of consciousness, is merely a reward for the billions of years our energy has woven itself in and out of nature’s tapestry.

So enjoy life while we’re here to do so. Run, laugh, cry, scream into the wind, dance in thunder storms, feel dew-soaked grass with your bare feet, appreciate cloud formations and the aerial theatrics of birds, sift soil through your fingers, hold hands, make love.

All is beautiful, all is free – just notice things – appreciate life!

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Had to share this.

The Poets, by Vasiliy Shishkov

From room to hallway a candle passes
and is extinguished. Its imprint swims in one’s eyes,
until, among the blue-black branches,
a starless night its contours finds.

It is time, we are going away: still youthful,
with a list of dreams not yet dreamt
with the last, hardly visible radiance of Russia
on the phosphorent rhymes of our last verse.

And yet we did know – didn’t we? – inspiration,
we would live, it seemed, and our books would grow
but the kithless muses at last have destroyed us,
and it iis time now for us to grow.

and this not because we’re afraid of offending
with our freedom good people; simply, it’s time
for us to depart – and besides we prefer not
to see all this world’s enchantment and torment,
the casement that catches a sunbeam afar,
humble somnambulists in soldier’s uniform,

the lofty sky, the attentive clouds,
the beauty, the look of reproach; the young children
playing hide-and-seek inside and around
the latrine that revolves in the summer twilight;
the sunset’s beauty, its look of reproach;

all that weighs upon one, entwines one, wounds one;
an electric sign’s tears on the opposite bank;
through the mist the stream of its emeralds running;
all the things that already I cannot express.

In a moment we’ll pass across the world’s threshold
into a region – name it as you please,
wilderness, death, disavowal of language,
or maybe simpler: the silence of love;

the silence of a distant cartway, its furrow,
beneath the foam of flowers concealed;
my silent country (the love that is hopeless);
the silent sheet lightning, the silent seed.

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JOB SEEKING ISN’T WORKING

I think the system’s broke. I mean it has to be, why else wouldn’t I be employed? Look at me! I’m the best.

While on the bus to meet my girlfriend earlier today, I pulled my book from my pocket and opened it to begin reading. I was left feeling like a Pokemon master when a wasp flew(fell(with a complete lack of style)) out from between the pages and danced about against the floor and up the window.

Nobody noticed, which I was somewhat relieved about. For some reason I found it embarrassing to have had a wasp living inside my book. So many questions needed answering – how did it get there, did somebody try to trap/kill it, how long has it even been inside The Hobbit and would it ‘spoil’ the predictably drab ending? Prior to this occasion I’d not opened the book in weeks, so it’s quite interesting.

The bookwasp fluttered to-and-fro, banging its head against the window – its wings were stiff and its body was bent, it looked retarded. The girl sitting opposite screamed when she saw it; “Kill it! It might sting!” I didn’t want to kill it. It was special. So I ignored her and acted as if my headphones were shielding me from her squealing voice.

Finally, two or three minutes after it had emerged, the bookwasp lay with its face pressed against the window and, tired of hearing the chav’s cries, died.

The passing of my bookwasp was both beauteous and upsetting. It was as if, after waking up to this monstrosity after a lengthy sleep, he’d simply opted to go back to the dreamworld. As I looked up to the screaming, orange, mess of a once-human in front of me, I couldn’t help but envy the bookwasp. Because unlike me, now he’s free. Free of the screams, free of the orange-ones, free of the cramped stickiness of public transportation, free of traffic lights, exams, jobseekers allowance . . .

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